Amber Rants: Friendships Can Just Be Friendships


Recently one of my good friends got a girlfriend. This was wonderful and I was so so happy for them. I don't know her really at all, but after a couple of group calls and hearing about her, I thought she was nice and definitely harboured no problem with it. HOWEVER. One evening, I was asking my friend about a crappy gift I had been given because I know they are good with technology, and I knew something was amiss when she posted on her Snapchat story about how girls who are friends with guys and talk a lot clearly 'want their cock'. Then I got a message from one of her friends saying she doesn't want me to talk to them again. And with no objection from him, our friendship is effectively over.

This both disappoints and angers me, although I can partly see his side. He's recently got a girlfriend and obviously wants to keep her happy, although it disappoints me that, to be honest, he's not got the balls to stand up for our friendship. It does anger me though that she clearly genuinely believes that two people of the opposite sex cannot be friends.

1. Firstly I have many friends, and many of them, boys. If I can't talk to them without 'wanting the cock' what kind of person does this make me?? Indecisive at best??

2. This is so heteronormative it makes me want to scream. Does this mean gay people aren't allowed male friends in case they're also wanting the cock, or lesbians aren't allowed female friends? Bisexual and pansexual people must only have friends that are single, because clearly they want everyone, all the time? NO!

3. I was friends with him before she ever even knew him, and my feelings are 100% platonic. In the resultant social media onslaught I have received following this severing, and following the subsequent shit stirring, including one of my friends with a previous grudge against him getting involved, it has genuinely hurt me. Relationships don't always last forever, but a friendship can :)

4. FRIENDSHIPS CAN LITERALLY JUST BE FRIENDSHIPS. I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG.

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